You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
my mouth tastes like poor choices
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
