That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
