he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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