Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Did we literally take a cab across the street
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
