# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
