Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Randomize
