At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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