Just fell off a train. Bad.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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