That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
