PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
