I faked an abortion last night.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
