hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
