it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
