Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
