somebody snuck up and got me drunk
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
