accomplished twins. life is a go
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
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