Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I think people are normalizing furries
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
