you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
