Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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