i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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