i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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