that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
operation harelip BJ is a go
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
