if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize