I want to walk on stilts...naked
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
