when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
