We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
