We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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