i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
