I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
