I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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