YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
She even gives head with a lisp.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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