How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
