wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Randomize
