This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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