so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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