There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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