Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
