Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
