That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
