He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
