I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
