I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize