I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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