I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
