she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
