Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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