i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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