well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
