Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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