I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
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