I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
