i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Randomize
