I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
