Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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