You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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