Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
