i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
