yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize