There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Randomize
